Pandemic. Quarantine. Isolation. Social Distancing. Home Schooling. Unemployment. I did not anticipate any of these words being a part of my life or vocabulary in 2020, nor did I really know what they would mean to me as time progressed.
I lost my job two weeks before the State of Alabama and school systems shut down. I use the word "lost" for a reason. I lost something I had poured my heart and soul into for almost 9 years. I helped over 200 hospitals in 43 states keep their doors open in rural communities. I was one of very few females in my company that had worked their way up successfully. I am a type A personality, quite ambitious and tend to thrive under pressure as far as performance goes, but suffer with anxiety if an imbalance in my priorities or moral code occurs. I am first and foremost a wife, a mother, a Christian and an athlete. If work ever were to take these from me or threaten them, I get uneasy. All of these became threatened. I submitted my resignation after one of my superiors asked me to do something unethical. I could no longer be a part of an organization, in which I no longer believed in it's leadership. It was constantly wearing on my soul. While taking a spiritual assessment test at my Church (Church of the Highlands) during the Pandemic, I discovered that one of my spiritual gifts is "the gift of discernment," defined as the divine strength or ability to spiritually identify falsehood and to distinguish between right and wrong motives in situations. I felt this like a hot iron on my skin when certain men in this company spoke to me. Therefore, I left a company that I once loved with no job to replace it. I have worked for 21 years straight. Now, I was without work. Without a plan.
It took me two weeks to calm down and not send out resumes. Then one morning, during quarantine, I stopped and took this photo while sitting on my front porch.
It's nothing spectacular or special to most, but to me, it is impactful. Has extraordinary meaning in my life. God pressed the pause button on my life. And I could now clearly see the view.
There are terrible things happening in our country and across the world. I am not diminishing the struggles, pain or fear that many are experiencing. But for me it was like hitting a speed bump at 50 miles an hour and landing at a resort. I could finally breathe, think, cook, clean, educate, read, decorate, exercise, garden, read my bible and love others without distraction for a brief moment I will treasure forever.
The "View From My Window" has included the following:
1
. Noah learned to ride a bike at 10 years old. All 120 lbs. of him. He always refused, showed no interest, cried and was frustrated. This was his 3rd bike in his lifetime. Two failures. And now a win. Daily lessons to try to teach him. The day he rode off was amazing. Now he asks to go riding constantly. I will never forget this orange shirt and his proud smile. A simple accomplishment for most was a challenge for him. He overcame it.
2.
We began to train and run 5Ks for medals. Fitness is my therapy. Noah has gotten conditioned like I have never seen him before. He is going to be a force for football season; I warn you! We do this daily for P.E., sometimes subbing in weight training or a bike ride at times. It is precious time together with my son. He talks to me in these quiet moments discovering waterfalls and off beaten paths. If you get this quiet child alone, he will talk your ear off.
3.
I began gardening again. Something I love to do. Planting tomatoes, flowers, and azaleas. And I did not care that the red clay took me 30 minutes to plant one Azalea. It was time I treasured. And I remembered to water them this time around! I planted special milkweed flowers for the endangered Monarch butterflies. Butterflies abound now. As do hummingbirds. Even "Bob Ross" made an appearance.
4.
I put my birdfeeders back out. Bird watching has always been something I loved. Work would always get in the way. Or the dog would tear them down. I always forgot to fill them up. Now, they are filled and well maintained, beside my front porch. I watch hummingbirds, blue birds, cardinals, woodpeckers, butterflies, chipmunks and squirrels come to my porch and garden. It is wonderful.
5.
I cleaned out my house finding and therefore preserving precious memories. I hung up Noah's art work over the years and framed them. I had a quilt made of all of Noah's old sports jerseys. I put value on what mattered to me and took those items and made them last in something I could have forever.
6.
I became and stay at home mom with joy and appreciation. I cooked, I cleaned, I did laundry, I washed the dog, I educated. I felt so lucky to be able to do these things without distraction for my first time in my life. Cooking was fun now. The clean laundry and being able to find socks was great. The calmness of a decluttered world created a peaceful place to rest my head at night. I believe in some ways, this is how God created our families to be. A time gone past. Now it almost is required to have two income families. I long to go back to the times when one could work and one could stay home, in some ways. I am grateful for a strong husband who leads and provides for our family during this time. He is our rock.
7.
God became a priority. I only missed one church service since this has started. Thank goodness for technology in this moment. I started the "Growth Track" at my church, which I never thought I had time to do before (of course, my priorities were just out of whack). I found out many things I knew about myself and many things I did not! I started a goal planner book Pastor Chris recommended. I am looking up joining a small group. I am reading my bible and devotionals and praying more. Looking forward to serving others in the near future.
8.
I learned how to make a couple of craft cocktails. Something I have always wanted to do. Bought the proper glasses, learned about bitters, and how to crush fresh herbs, how to shake and when not to. Moscow Mules and Refresco en Vinagre is what I have made so far. Maybe I will learn more in the future!
9.
I got to know my German Shepherd Dog (GSD) truly for the first time. Her full name is Matilda (aka "Tilli"), which means "strength in battle" in German, but her nickname is actually Mama Bear. This dog has pushed all my buttons. She is fast, mischievous, powerful, loud, destructive and a pain in my butt. She has chewed up my glasses, my hair brush, a $20 bill and my furniture. She is stubborn, like me. Athletic like me. Impulsive like me. And smart like me. She is me in a dog form. God was testing me, while he laughed. He must have been thinking, "This will be a great challenge for her to tackle." Truth is, I got her because I missed my Dad. I lost him to cancer years ago. My Dad owned 4 of them in my lifetime. A German Shepherd reminds me of him. I am sure my Dad got a kick out of watching me (from heaven) chase her as well. During the Pandemic, I have figured her nuances out, discovered her gifts and how to meet her energy needs. She is fiercely loyal, protective of Noah and I on our walks (that's her job), loving, hilarious, energetic, the ultimate athlete and my friend. I have learned how to treat her like a GSD and not a basset hound (my former dog). She is great for social distancing; no one will come within 10 feet of you on leash - she will send out a warning if they approach! Daily leash walks were not enough. She loves to run free in open fields, ears down and aerodynamic like an episode of Live PD. Then, she can find the will to listen and be obedient. She has been my comfort and companion. I love going everywhere with her. Her presence during this quarantine has been priceless to me. Her eyes tell a story, deep and intelligent. I never gave up on her, and she doesn't give up on me. We never will.
10.
I stayed put. Didn't travel. This is a tough one for me. The word "wanderlust" is me to a "t." Wanderlust is a strong desire to wander or travel and explore the world. I love to fly, drive, taxi, train to anywhere besides home. I love different languages, new experiences, exploring different foods and cultures and going on adventures. We cancelled the trips to Jamaica and to England we had planned for the year. But what did I learn from this? The simple life has value and purpose. Our home is a precious sanctuary of safety and joy for me. Birmingham has hidden outdoor treasures. We discovered new trails, waterfalls, rocks and places to explore. Love is really all you need. Although adventures in the future will come, I know what home means to me.
11.
Lastly and most importantly, my son Noah formally accepted Christ as his personal Savior. On Easter Sunday, I heard him under his blanket as Pastor Chris was inviting everyone to accept Christ, whispering and repeating the words that PC was saying. He is interested in the growth track, reading his bible, identifying his spiritual gifts and we have discussed baptism. There is nothing greater that I wish to pass on to my child than this. No greater accomplishment. No greater joy.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
God placed the pause button on our lives. One thing I have discovered during this time is that the view from our windows is deeply personal. Unique and Individual. Some good, some bad. Good days, bad days. We all have them. But we each have learned something if we acknowledge it. And I wouldn't trade that for the world.
What is the view from your window? I would love to see your view!
